About N'gelZ

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A photography obsessor who loves to play the piano and strum her guitar, an absolute beach-maniac, sunset lover, nuts about cats and arts, like traveling. ~She sees life as one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, she laugh so hard that she almost choke when she think about herself. ~You see she's just a human and While she knows herself as a creation of God, she's obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation

Thursday, June 30, 2011


My life is full with ups and downs,but I realized that, it is what adds up the spice of my life:)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Better Today

I'm feeling much better today!
You See It All In My Smile
You Hear It All In My Laugh
The Way I Walk
You Hear Me Talkin,
No, I'm No Longer Sad
I've Got More Reason To Smile
More Now Than I've Ever Had
Open My Eyes And Realized
That Nothing's Quite That Bad

I've Got A Different Approach
Of Dealin With Emotion
Keeping Control Of My Boat
While Drifting On This Ocean
Keeping My Head To The Sky
Keeping Tears Outta My Eye

Girl, This Happiness Be The Reason
That I Just Haven't Cried

And Life's Too Short
To Dwell On All That's Wrong
Stand Up Now
Stand Up Now,
And I Promise Not Before Long
Cuz You'll Be Feeling Better Today
Much Better Today,
Much Better Today
So Much Better
Feelin Better Today...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Borneo Carnivore Symposium 2011 (BCS2011)

I guess I was very lucky to have the opportunity to attend the 1st Borneo Carnivore Symposium. The symposium is a collaboration between the Leibniz Institute for Zoo & Wildlife Research (IZW) in Germany and of course the Sabah Wildlife Department (SWD). This is the first symposium (on wildlife) being conducted in Sabah with the theme "Road Towards Conservation Action Plans". 
My BCS teatime was used to 'photographing' ;)
I must say that I am grateful to be able to meet some of the well known scientists and researchers on conservation that come from different part of the world. The symposium is divided in to 2 main parts ; Part I and Part II. One of the goal is to define potential conservation areas and to develop immediate strategies on long term conservation of the carnivore species in Borneo.
I am more than glad to be involved as one of the many participants in this symposium,even though I know nothing much about conservation( my actual field background is Environmental Engineering), but it has pretty much gives me the idea of what is actually going on with the wildlife and the status of the forests not only in Sabah but the whole island of Borneo.
Sundaland Clouded Leopard- it does look like one of my cats back at home:)
I am impressed on how the speaker could talk continuously without having to pause or think what to say or answer as if everything is already written in their mind (they are the experts anyway, of course they can speak very well). Should I be given a chance to study one of the carnivores in Borneo I would pick the wild cats specifically the Sundaland Clouded Leopard as my choice. Why? It's just probably because I like cats, and yes I do have many of 'em ( by this I am meaning to say the domestic cats not the wild one!). 
If it's not the wild cats, then perhaps it will be the otters specifically the small clawed Asian Otter. Why? Because they look like cats???.. LOL. Anyway they are cute and cuddly but be bear in mind that these animal are actually carnivores that could ripped out your hand once you touch them (well okay, on second thought, they are cute but they are not cuddly).
The Small Clawed Asian Otter (I have actually met the owner of this picture who is also a specialist in otter)-I heart this picture because the otters look like (again) one of my cats:)

I am supposed to join the rest of the participants and speakers for an evening party at Mamutik Island today before they continue the symposium at Rasa Ria on Thursday. But due to my not-so-very good- health condition, I just had to cancelled my participation of the party. The closing ceremony will be held at Rasa Ria Resort. 
What I have to say about this symposium is, I think it's an eye-opener and a good exposure as well as experiences for those who knows nothing much about the carnivores, and perhaps conservation (obviously like me)and a good effort to make the conservation action plans a reality!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

It's been a while since I last indulged myself in arts (that was a few years back). And now I'm kinda missing doing it. This is one of the pictures I've made recently, the only difference is, this time I'm doing it digitally.

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Day at the 'E' Unit

So i went to the Endoscopy unit last few days-i was diagnosed positive with h.pylori and the fact that i'm having gastric, made it worst, so the doc called me to undergo treatment, unfortunately one of the procedure is to do the endoscope- I hate it.

There were a number of patient waiting for their turn (including me). One of the patient is a middle age man who looked so worried after knowing what exactly the doctor will do in the procedure. Being a first timer, of course, we were kept wondering how it feels, is it painful? I had some answers from those who had gone through it before, and i'm just not sure if they were just merely trying to scare us or they were actually telling the truth.  

And so it was my turn (i was the last patient). I kept on praying they could give me sedative to knock me out before inserting the tube. Unfortunately, I was not given any, and there i was, wide awake laying on my side with my mouth wide opened. 
This was the thing inserted into my tummy via my throat, looks pretty scary.

Was it painful? Oh yes, definitely, that i didn't realized i started shed tears due to the pain inside my lung as soon as i was asked to swallow the tube. I could feel the tube made its way down from my throat, lung and my tummy. I felt it twisting and moving, felt like a monster was trying to rip off my tummy to get out. 

The whole procedure took about 20 minutes, how i wished there is a better way to do it, or at least use a smaller diameter of endoscope. But on second thoughts, having to swallow the endoscope is far more better than having to endure pain caused by critical gastric. So my advice to all those of you who doesn't want to end up in the E Unit with a 1 meter tube stuck in your lungs and tummy, you better watch out with what you feed your tummy as the saying goes prevention is better than cure. 

P/s: i guess i should make Healthy Food as my BFF (LOL), but it's just so much easier to choose the unhealthy ones, *sigh* i hate to have to choose.

Saturday, June 11, 2011


He had a circumcision today at the veterinary clinic.He was scared, of course, he had no idea of what was going on. We left him under the vet care for half a day, and I was glad to see him doing perfectly fine (though he's still weak).I'm sure he'll be wondering or perhaps feeling like he's missing one of his 'body-part' once he is fully recovered. 

The son and daughters
We call the 1st 'lil fella Kadot (derived from the word Polka dot- because he has so many little tiny black dots on his arms, belly and feet. And the one trying to touch the camera is Gipu (a friend of mine gave this name to her, derived from two dusun words Gitom and Purak, combined, hence the unique name). The last one is Siam, the odd one out:). We Suspected, that these three little kittens are the kids of the big daddy who just got his circumcision and obviously these kittens will be his only ancestor:).They have the resemblance except for Siam, she's the odd one out:).  

Friday, June 10, 2011

It has been raining cats and dogs lately especially in the evening but i just knew  that it was going to be a bright sunny evening that day, so i packed my cam and short and flip-flop with me.

I head off to one of the nearest seaside from my house.My plan was to take some sunset photographs, but i guess sunset didn't turn out beautifully as i was expecting that evening, yet, i can still see the glimpse of it hidden behind the clouds:)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?=Ageless
  2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?=Never trying
  3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?=because human sometimes is just so idiot!
  4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?=Always...
  5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?=Let there be a Heaven on Earth:)
  6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?=Being Happy at all times!!
  7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?=errrr....
  8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?=By doing things in a different way i guess?...
  9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?=I choose things that I want
  10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?=doing the right things
  11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?=Nothing..
  12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?=Be strong :P
  13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?=I think so..
  14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?= Always:)
  15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?= doing the small thing in a hard way (LOL)
  16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?=because not every one will be feeling the same way like you do..duhhh..
  17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?=not sure
  18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?=maybe
  19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?=a place near the beach, because i'm a beach-maniac:)
  20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?=Yes!
  21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?=joyful of course
  22. Why are you, you?=huh???
  23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?= oh yes definitely:)
  24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?=both
  25. What are you most grateful for?= a family
  26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?= would like to keep both
  27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?=Yes of course
  28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?=hmm.. yeahh..
  29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?= yes, and no it doesn't
  30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?=Can't really remember..
  31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?=mmm not sure...
  32. If not now, then when?=ANYTIME..:)
  33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?=Nothing
  34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?=not yet so far
  35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?=i guess because humans are just so idiots..
  36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?=YES
  37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?=Maybe.....nope.:)
  38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?=Enjoy both:)
  39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?=sometimes
  40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?=last few months
  41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?Family,..the rest, i guess an SMS will do..
  42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?=heck NO!
  43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?=mmm the way how it is elaborated :)
  44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?=when you really have no idea what's going on in your life:)
  45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?=because of egoistic?
  46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?=Crime (LOL)
  47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?=last night :)
  48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?=I love many things and my actions speaks it.
  49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?=Only the important stuff that i did...
  50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?=I'm making it myself.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Friday, June 3, 2011

just another thoughts on music....

I fell in love with the piano since my childhood
I played the keyboard (no, not the computer keyboard) until early morning today, because I just couldn't concentrate on playing any melody with my niece and nephew kept on pressing the other keys on the keyboard. So I waited until they slumbered  into their 'dreamland'. So I continued playing my favorite piano pieces. No, I don't call myself an expert in piano, I don't really 'read' music notes, I don't even attend any piano classes. I play by ear, and play whatever songs that's inside my mind. Have I ever composed a song? I guess, yeah.. Sometimes I don't even know what song I'm actually playing, because I'm letting my emotion flows through my finger and spontaneously play a song. It may sounds crappy, it may sounds beautiful, but what ever it is, I'm just expressing myself/feelings. Yes, I do envy with those who could play the piano 'properly' ( by this I'm referring to being able to read the musical notes), wishing I could do what they can. But I guess, there's no reason to envy, as I realize, the fact that I'm not able to read musical note properly, had me thinking that I am actually 'better' than them (who relies a lot on the note).I don't need musical notes. And I just thought that, music played by those who play by ear and by heart,sounds more 'beautiful' compare to those who are struggling reading the music notes....   


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